2007年4月2日 星期一

Letter to Mom

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

2007年4月1日 星期日

愚人節快樂! 電腦整蠱軟件

Fool's Tools:  Free Downloadable Computer Pranks for April Fool's Day and Beyond Computer pranks to inflict on friends and loved ones.
Brought to you by ZUG and RJL Software.

Screen Screw Downloadable Computer Prank Screen Screw
Make them think their monitor is ruined!
The Finger
Change their mouse cursor into the middle finger!
Add/Remove
Make them think all their programs are being erased!
Mouse Droppings
Make their mouse drop little brown poops across their screen!
Random Burper
Make their computer belch at random!
Dirty Mouse
Make them think their mouse ball is dirty!
Fake Delete
Make their computer pretend to "erase" all the files from a directory that you specify!
Cursor Fun
Change their mouse cursor to a new one that you specify!
Open CD
Make their CD drive open and close when they're not expecting it!
Fake Shutdown
Make them think Windows is shutting down by itself!